dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
