tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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