Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
time to smoke my breakfast
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
