No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
