We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
