oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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