I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize