you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
