these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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