Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
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