chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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