After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
