Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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