I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
