i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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