I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize