dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
