a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We're too hungover to prance.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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