He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
