my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
