I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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