I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
