we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize