I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Are we still banned from the library?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
