My cat gives me a boner
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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