Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
