Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
