did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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