Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
