Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
