So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
