yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
