you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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