So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
