i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
