with your own penis?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My bed smells like the plague
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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