Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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