I'm going to jail i love you
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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