Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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