how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize