I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
