this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
