is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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