why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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