i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
