I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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