Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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