Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
