fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
