Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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