just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
