in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
