smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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