the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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