im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
