How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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