You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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