yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
