Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
