She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
