They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm at about main and main street
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
