hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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