Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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