My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
high people should be assigned attendants
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize