Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
