Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize