I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
